We've eliminated all but seven teams! I'm about ready to buy some face paint but I have to make some final cuts. There's a special, elite group of losers which has never been to a Superbowl. These are my true underdogs: Jaguars, the Houston Texans, the Lions and the Browns. Animal teams have already been culled, so that leaves Cleveland and Houston.
'The fifteen hundred men and women in uniform we have protecting our streets in Denver are enormously pleased that the city has such a fantastic crime-fighting asset,' said Denver Police Captain Thomas Bradford. 'We may have professional training, years of experience, and a tightly integrated network of logistical support, but there's just no substitute for a guy in tights.'
According to official reports, Rodriguez, a non-US citizen who served eighteen months in Iraq before being discharged after sustaining the ill-effects of a concussive blast in July, died almost immediately from trauma he received from Jessica Clark of nearby Glenhaven when he attempted to repel the morbidly obese woman's seventh trip back to the all-you-can-eat restaurant's dessert bar.
Father Quentin O'Daily, 42, originally of Fargo, North Dakota, was paraded in front of the news media as the quintessential new model priest of the 21st Century. His background was verified by Funk and Wagnals as well as Price Waterhouse.
When reporters noted the Bible was still sealed in its plastic wrapper, Obama abruptly stopped taking questions, knelt on his hands and knees on the small rug in front of his desk to 'find a lost contact lens,' muttered what some believe sounded like 'Glory to my Lord Allah, the Most High Most Praiseworthy,' and left the room hurriedly.
'Every time Americans do something stupid like the Abu Ghraib scandal, the reaction against a New York Islamic center or this man in Florida threatening to burn the Koran it makes my job so much easier. We’re going to exceed our recruitment goals for the month thanks to you guys.'
The good preacher was not prepared for the conversation that took place after his query. The inquiry brought about concern and confusion, rather than the intended discussion about spirituality and evangelism. This was apparent almost immediately, when McKeever asked Devaney, 'Is he missing? When did you last see him?' and then began frantically searching the New Church Street sidewalk.
Fears are growing that UK-based Muslim fundamentalists have opened up a new front in their war against the West by using online dating services to target UK military personnel!
A Great American Hero
Award-winning humor writer Greg Robillard has hit the bookshelves with his first full-length novel,
and takes no prisoners in a story that is part political satire, part comic-book parody, and part celebrity tell-all.
Personally, I never understood lyrics properly when I was actually young, never mind now. Apparently, I wasn't alone.
Misheard Lyrics offers a delightful array of user-submitted videos illustrating
just what people REALLY hear when they listen to popular songs.