SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, California Governor Jerry Brown (D) urged the citizens of his state to visit out-of-state family members and friends, and "borrow some water to bring back to California." Brown explained it was the best long-term backup plan California could put forth as the state found itself in the fourth year of a historic drought.

NEW YORK, New York  (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - The word war between Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump and FOX News seems to be coming to an end, thanks to  an agreement recently made between Trump and FOX News Chairman Roger Ailes. Earlier in the week, Ailes was quoted as saying to Trump, 'We resolve…

NEW YORK, New York (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump laid out his immigration policy last weekend: build a border wall paid for by Mexico, deport all of the 11 Million undocumented immigrants now in the U.S., and amend the constitution to re-define birthright citizenship. Today, Trump fired one of his employees,…

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - At least he is consistent with his views on immigration and birthright citizenship. Recently, Donald Trump laid out his immigration policy wherein he maintained that children born in America of undocumented immigrants should not be automatically considered U.S. citizens. And that includes Chinese pandas born in the National Zoo.…

Ponte Vedra Beach, FL – PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem is well liked by players and has helped to create more and more millionaires.  Finchem is looking to take the game of golf to new heights and knows there are some significant hurdles in his way.

Strawberry jam, Britonses favourite jam, will no longer taste like it does today, but much better when we leave Europe, whispered an increasingly wild eyed Iain Duncan Smith today.

The BBC started filming the prequel to Lady Chatterley's Lover, by DH Lawrence, in Lower under Haye, Monday, sources close to the kennels have revealed.

DALLAS, Texas (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - American Airlines (AA) accidently sent the wrong plane across the ocean from Los Angeles to Hawaii, a company spokesman confirmed to AFP Sunday. In the August 31 incident first reported by transportation blogger Brian Sumers, the plane made it safely to Honolulu despite the error. American Airlines spokesman Casey Norton said…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - A TNA study released today showed 98.6% of Donald Trump's supporters were unable to spell or define "xenophobia." The study also showed roughly the same results for those who were asked to spell or define "authoritarianism."

The new iOS 9 update was released this week, and iPhone users all over the country are downloading the new software. But, forDrone.jpg some, their shiny new devices are gone forever.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - How the world (universe) turns! News satire sites are often accused of perpetuating hoaxes that many gullible netizens are quick to believe or pass on as fact. Today, the National Association of Satire Writers (NASW) discovered that today's NASA announcement about the discovery of flowing water on Mars was a…

Washington – After yet another senseless act of violence left 10 people dead and many more injured in the sleepy town of Roseburg, President Obama was hyper critical of both political parties, Presidential hopefuls, and potential killers everywhere.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, teabaggers in the House of Representatives stated they "didn't care" who was the next Speaker of the House and announced their intention to burn down the Capitol Building after years of failing to completely paralyze the government, make it default on its debts, and destroy the American economy. The teabagging members of Congress explained they "were tired" of trying to use "unAmerican and unpatriotic law-based methods" to impose their uncompromising extreme-right objectives on the country, and were "being forced to burn down the Capitol Building by Repu

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she would wag her dominate index finger at every Wall Street CEO to attend a fundraising dinner this evening in East Hampton, New York. Clinton declared her wagging finger would put the corruption of Wall Street on notice, and prevent another economic crisis just like her "cut it out" discussion with Wall Street in December 2007 averted the 2008 economic crisis.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, all of the Republican presidential candidates condemned Democratic presidential candidate Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont for publicly declaring he planned to feed the hungry, as well as help the poor, sick, elderly, and other struggling Americans. The Republican field was unanimous in its derision of the socialist policies espoused by Sanders, which would treat the most vulnerable Americans as actual people and respected members of the nation's community.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton proactively branded every American who refused to vote for her "a sexist." Clinton asserted if anyone disagreed with her on policy they were "likely a sexist," but any American who did not vote for her was "definitely a sexist."

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the Obama Administration announced the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) - a massive multinational trade deal President Obama intends to sign - will protect the freedom of all Americans to unknowingly purchase poisonous food. The White House explained companies located in other TPP nations will be able to sue the United States for having higher food safety standards, and force their poisonous food into the American market by citing "unfair protection of consumers."

Queen Accused of Breaking Wind During Two Minute Silence at Cenotaph. Royal Fart Widely Condemned as Disrespectful - Not to Mention Noxious - to Britain's War Dead and Military Veterans.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she was drafting all of her campaign donors between the ages of 18 and 25 for ground combat roles in the war she planned to fight against the Islamic State (ISIS) following her inauguration in 2017. Clinton touted her gender inclusiveness in the process, and noted both men and women were being automatically volunteered for military service to fight in her future Middle East wars of choice.

Beginning July 1, the nation’s largest retailer will venture into cosmetic surgery for the first time when Walmart begins offering Breast Enhancement Surgery at all Super Walmart locations