Check Please!
"How tall is that Police Officer if that camera is her body cam?" Jessie Krufts, Shortist
"It's far too close to a hotdog, almost cannibalism." Kent Rugby, Catcher
"Hmmm. That sounds horribly like pigs in blankets and we all know how that turned out."
"I would be invincible with trunks like that." Jimmy Popper, Trunks Designer
"I never knew those dolls were bullet proof. I suppose if you think about it they need to be quite tough or they'll puncture." Jessie Krufts, Scientist
"My nightmare is that one of their little heads goes right up my shorts when I'm not looking." Jimmy Popper, Disasterologist
"She be no Tarzan. Tarzan would be all like 'come here and wrestle, man'. Jeez." Kent Rugby, Tarzan's Everywhere CEO
"Like a low budget straight to youtube Snakenado. And not a cameo from any of the Osbourne family in sight. Everyone's a winner here." Harry Zonderblurb, Critic
"It's nothing like him. Serge, do Trump next. Just put a wig on and say something stupid in a whiny simple voice." Jessie Krufts, Impersonator
"Hmm. Is there a doggie wine list at the restaurant? Or do they always have water but they can choose the bowl?" Fred Flunkee, Dogger
"The slow golfer guys in front have been making up stories about a Jurassic sized Gator slowing them down for years. It had to happen eventually."
"Ice cream for the lizard thingie. Do they even eat ice cream? Let him try some he's been through enough already." Jimmy Popper, Animals Correspondent (Desert Animals) , CNN
"I tickle torture my cat behind his ears. He fetches me my newspaper now, well more like drags it to me... But, on balance, brilliant."
"It's a super triple double king bonus plus plus size doggy-bed. That dog will feel like a doggy billionaire." Fred Flunkee, Salesman, Beds Inc
"Just don't ask him to any memorial ceremony, he'll be 2 months early." Jessie Krufts, Wanderer
"I'm starting a campaign to get Vine videos increased in length from 6 seconds to 7 seconds each. JOIN ME!" Jimmy Popper, Campaigner

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