LAS VEGAS — Undefeated and five-division world champion Floyd Mayweather, Jr. responded to Manny Pacquiao’s comments com…

"There seems to be no limit to these corrupting sartorial nightmares," sources say.

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the corporate media in the United States announced it was "upset" unapproved Democratic presidential candidate Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont was "doing well," and seemed to be reaching Americans with his populist progressive message despite their overt efforts to pretend he did not exist. The decidedly right-wing corporate media also asserted it was "shocked" the narrative for the presidential election was not going the way it had planned, as Sanders continued to beat Hillary Clinton in various polls.

To increase the chances of the outgoing Speaker landing on their staff roster, lobbying groups are competing in the luxury hankie arena for the day Boehner hits the ground sobbing.

"But how many Chinese people jumping together on it strong is the bridge? You call this reporting?" Jessie Krufts, Geographer

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and retired neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson announced he "wouldn't just stand there" if a nuclear warhead was dropped on him. Carson stated he "didn't care" whether the nuclear warhead "came from Russia or Ethiopa or wherever," because he "would stop it" and not allow himself "to become a victim like all those unarmed Americans who have died in America's plague of mass shootings."

Luxembourg propeller planes bombed Syria today, joining a long and growing list of nations to have done so this year.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced she would wag her dominate index finger at every Wall Street CEO to attend a fundraising dinner this evening in East Hampton, New York. Clinton declared her wagging finger would put the corruption of Wall Street on notice, and prevent another economic crisis just like her "cut it out" discussion with Wall Street in December 2007 averted the 2008 economic crisis.

Seoul – In the highly competitive auto industry, every manufacturer is looking to stay one step ahead of the competition.  Hyundai Motor Company announced this past Tuesday that it is teaming up with Lenscrafters to offer an innovation not yet seen in the industry.  

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton told Americans electing the United States' first female president was worth the final collapse and permanent extinction of the American middle class. Clinton urged Americans to not be sexist, and to vote for her instead of trying to prevent both their standard of living and wages from continuing their free fall courtesy of the very people bankrolling her presidential campaign.

Ultra-wealthy actress had no idea her luxury T.V. spot for EA might rankle the rank and file.

Hockey is awesome and it plays on televisions in sports bars. People watch those televisions and drink alcohol.

NEW YORK CITY--In an effort to increase membership and an eye toward modernization, the Girl Scouts of the United States of America will soon begin allowing girls to complete many of the tasks required to be Girl Scouts on the internet, according to GSUSA Director of Communication Hannah Marquez.  Marquez cited the recent success of…

Clint Eastwood counsels Class of 2015 on the good, the bad and the ugly.

Scotland are to boycott the World Cup in 2018, bringing to 4 the number of World Cups they have boycotted since 1998, according to a source with a pronounced Scottish accent.

Despite greater strides made toward purchasing parity between the sexes, a recent study shows that women in the U.S. still spend around 77 cents for every dollar a man earns.

Congress just passed a bill establishing new names for popular foods with Arab roots.

"Mammon worship is now the faith in the Land flowing with Koch and Money," said the Lord, throwing his support to Bernie Sanders. Michael Egan, Humor Times.

Beginning July 1, the nation’s largest retailer will venture into cosmetic surgery for the first time when Walmart begins offering Breast Enhancement Surgery at all Super Walmart locations

Donald Trump, professional candidate for the GOP nomination and bad wig model, says he's rich enough to be the best president. By James Israel, Humor Times.