The Great COVID Hoax: Why Do Nurses Lie?

Like so many thousands of others victimized by the satanic cabal that has pervaded the US healthcare system, it started for Laura Shippen of Shreveport, Louisiana with a bad cold.

"I woke up one morning with a fever of 104 and noticed that I couldn't move my legs. Figuring I'd sleep it off, I stayed in bed to rest, but soon found it hard to breathe because my nightgown was too tight. That's when my husband decided to take me to urgent care, and God bless him, that's when they had me," Shippen recounted.

Quickly diagnosed with COVID-19, Shippen was almost immediately put on a ventilator.

"I knew the nurse was lying. I could see it in her cold, grey eyes, but I couldn't say anything because of my cough and my clothes still being too tight," she said.

But why? Why would nurses lie? Shippen has a theory.

"There are a couple of reasons. The first, and most obvious, is money. As soon as they put you on a ventilator, they sedate you and start harvesting your body for whatever they can sell. Your stem cells, your eggs, even your vital organs. One person I heard from woke up with one of his feet missing. Who knows what they used that for," she said.

"The other, more sinister reason, and which could explain the foot, is that most medical professionals are satanists," Shippen continued. "They worship the devil and need our blood and body parts to give as offerings to their dark lord. Honest Dave did a piece on it on his podcast last month, and I vaguely remember the nurses and doctors all dancing around and speaking in tongues while I was half-conscious."

Requests for comment made to the hospital where Shippen received her care have yet to by answered.