GOP Salvages Drug Makers Right to Charge Diabetics High Price for Insulin

A small consolation on an otherwise bad day for the GOP after the Inflation Reduction Act was passed Sunday, Republican Senators were at least able to strike down a provision to the sweeping climate and healthcare bill that would have capped the cost drug makers can charge individuals for insulin at $35 per month.

"I think that was a really important vote, because fuck people with diabetes," Tommy Tubberville (R, FL) remarked.

"Seriously, if you don't know by now that pasta sauce is packed with sugar, then fuck off," added Tubberville. "Why should Eli Lilly's shareholders suffer because you can't stop shoving cookies down your throat?"

Clean energy, another pet peeve of Republicans seeking to accelerate climate change, was also allocated $360 billion by the act, a figure the party is taking some solace in being lower than it could have been.

"It's a lot of money, especially since its coming from higher corporate taxes, but it could have been worse," Tom Cotton (R, AR) commented. "Also, we got the methane pollution fees removed, because fuck you. What do we care if the planet boils? We'll all be dead soon."

Hopeful of restoring their power in both Congress and the White House in the coming years, the GOP has vowed to continue pursuing their objectives of raising healthcare costs for average Americans while seriously fucking up the environment.