WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump confirmed reports he had been sexting with Russian President Vladimir Putin for over six months. Governor of Ohio John Kasich - a rival Republican presidential candidate, who refuses to make public the "very troubling" sexts - discovered the long-term sexting relationship between Trump and Putin after becoming convinced he should investigate the relationship between the two after days of them being very complimentary of each other in the media.

GUAYAQUIL, Equador (The Adobo Chronicles®) - Pope Francis starts his 7-day trip to three countries in South America, with a clear message to Donald Trump. The Roman Catholic Pontiff urged the countries of Ecuador, Bolivia and Paraguay to boycott the Miss Universe pageant over owner Trump's disparaging remarks about Mexican immigrants to the U.S. The real…

Jerry Springer has been announced to be the new chairman of the Republican National Committee.

Another completely made up trash classic reviewed!
An attempt to recreate the Italian exploitation movie formula in the UK, 'Dogs on Drugs' presents the tale of a town's pet dogs getting a dose of hallucinogenic drugs and turning homicidal.

NEW YORK CITY (The Barbed Wire) - The Donald announced today that because he was tired of listening to all the crap in the media about Hillary Clinton's inevitability in 2016, he has called the media's bluff and paid enough voters to back him - they're now all under contract to do so.

Trump Towers, NYC – (satireworld.com)

Rocking from his recent successful taunting of Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton by accusing her of being ‘schlonged’ by political neophyte Barack Obama back in 2008, Donald Trump again raised the ante by stating at a recent media gathering that ‘his schlong is bigger than Hillary’s!’

"Try a bit of Elvis Presley next time, I used to scream at him when I was their age." Fred Flunkee, Hoola Hooper

FLORIDA (The Barbed Wire) - While most gays are now living a blissful, carefree life since the Supreme Court granted them the right to marry, some people are just never satisfied. This is a true but tragic story and will shake your faith in humanity to the core.

HOLLYWOOD (TheSkunk.org) — Even the best of the best falter from time to time. Audience reaction to Steven Spielberg’s latest film, The Ride of Paul Revere, which debuted in selected theaters on Friday, was anger and confusion over sitting through a two-hour movie that was shot with the camera in the vertical, or “portrait,” format.

The drive-thru fast-food chain Checkers & Rally’s plans to build in the Baton Rouge area about a dozen restaurants that will eventually close and be converted to payday loan operations.

ATLANTA, Georgia (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Two weeks ago, CNN ran a banner headline announcing that ISIS was advancing "on two fonts." The headline meant to read "fronts." It was assumed that the error was a copyediting issue. But apparently, it was a hacking issue, and it happened yet again. CNN, while doing a live…

A local iPhone was bluntly honest in a dating profile when it wrote that its hobbies included “being taken into bathrooms” and “watching [its] owner crap.”

OKLAHOMA CITY, OKLAHOMA (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Governor of Oklahoma Mary Fallin declared the staggering increase in the frequency and strength of earthquakes in Oklahoma was not caused by hydraulic fracturing conducted by the oil and gas industry, but by an insidious gopher infestation. Fallin pledged to eradicate the earthquake-causing gophers, but warned citizens their state had likely been irreversibly damaged by the furry tunnelers and may permanently unseat California as the most earthquake-prone state in the Lower 48.

Bill Nye ‘The Science’ Guy recently attacked the sacred idea of creationism on a YouTube video.  The Internet and news programs have lit up with those on the side of creationism and those on the side of evolution.

"Ha ha that lid is broken or wasn't put on properly. I can't even open my dog proof dog food container." Fred Flunkee,Has Weak Fingers

Russell, KS –  Look into 92 year old Bob Dole’s eyes.  No, really look.  What do you see?  Great American?  Yes.  Proud veteran?  Absolutely.  A man who lived a full and worthwhile life?  Most of us may not know the true answer to that but let’s go with “OK” on that one.

SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) -  From Safeway to Whole Foods to Trader Joe's, avocados have disappeared from grocery shelves, and the situation has created a severe shortage of guacamole  in California. Taquerias have been serving salsa with their corn chips, minus the guacamole. The Chipotle restaurant chain has set a limit of one…

THE WEST BANK, ISRAEL (The Nil Admirari) - Once again, Republican presidential candidate and former Governor of Arkansas Mike Huckabee escaped from Bellevue Hospital, and somehow ended up in Israel today. Huckabee's second vacation from mental health workers followed his statement about Israelis being led to ovens by President Obama due to the nuclear agreement his administration reached with Iran.

"I don't get Samsung phone flavoured water, but I totally get cheesy feet flavoured water. Mmmmhhh...." Kent Rugby, Flavoured Water Executive

Lake Forest, IL –  February blues.  That’s how 14 year old Manny Worthem puts it.  We found him hanging out at a local Denny’s by himself drinking soda after soda and drowning his sorrows in a massive stack of pancakes.