College Park, MD – “Hey honey, you’ve got to come see this,” yelled Jamie Grundwald out the front door of his neighbor’s house.  “Get over here quick.  This is hilarious!”

As the nation debates the immorality of the Confederate flag, a Southern activist group is taking it upon themselves to remind people of who they were over 150 years ago. After news broke about changing the $10 bill to feature a woman, Southern activist group Dern Tootin' started an online petition to change the face of the $50 from Ulysses S. Grant to Robert E. Lee.

The sexy rumor this week is that lovers Kim Kardashian and Kanye West welcomed a brand new baby boy into the world.

The future of advertising has changed forever. After WPP and Snapchat launched Truffle Pig earlier this week, Omnicom and Facebook answered back with a new digital content agency of their own. The new agency, called Camel Toe, was announced yesterday at Cannes Lions and was the main topic of discussion throughout the day.

EL PASO (The Barbed Wire) - Republican front runner Donald Trump has taken a lot of heat recently for his comments that all Muslims should be kept out of the country until Congress can figure out a way to properly vet any Muslims coming in first.

Twin Falls, ID –  “We see this far too often.  A lovely family having a picnic at the park and, wham, there is a large bear to scare them off.  These bears may sit down and eat the entire picnic or even eat the family.” 

SILICON VALLEY, California (The Adobo Chronicles®) - From the Atlantic to the Pacific, from sea to shining sea, rainbow-colored filters are showing up on Facbook pages -- all in the name of marriage equality. Facebook profile photos are now sporting the colors of the gay flag. It all started soon after the U.S. Supreme Court issued…

The Department of Homeland Security is asking the public to stop spreading images of hybrid Confederate-LGBT rainbow flags.

"I just want to slip on some spandex trunks and go dancing with my new doggie friend." Kent Rugby, Hunkist

The Littlefield Police Department has acquired a 200 kiloton nuclear warhead under a Department of Defense program that distributes surplus weapons to local agencies throughout the country.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Republican presidential candidate Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) announced today he wanted Jesus Christ to be the official animal of the United States instead of the bald eagle. His position quickly split the Republican Party into two camps, and the topic has already started to overshadow other issues on the campaign trail like the economy, social policy, and foreign policy.

"That's why The Queen has to practice putting her crown on. If her eyes go like that she looks really funny." Harry Zonderblurb, Psychiatrist

DAMASCUS, Syria (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - The U.S. appears to be losing some ground in the war on terror in Syria. CNN is reporting that ISIS is advancing on two fonts: Times New Roman and Arial Bold.  

Twin fences purportedly intended to protect the nation's borders with Canada and Mexico appear to be swinging inward and upward in a manner that has many residents of the nation's Southern and Midwestern states worried.

What started out as jubilation over a momentous scientific achievement soon devolved into dangerous riots after NASA’s New Horizons spacecraft flew past Pluto.

MIAMI, Florida (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Miss Universe is up for sale! No, not Paulina Vega, the reigning title holder from Colombia, but Miss Universe the pageant. Republican presidential candidate and real estate mogul Donald Trump told reporters he was putting his 49% stake in the pageant on the market. Trump has been the face…

NEW YORK CITY (The Barbed Wire) - Because of his thoughtless comments about senator John McCain being captured during the Vietnam war, Republican Party Chairman, Reince Priebus, has ordered that presidential candidate Donald Trump be held in a broom closet for one year to learn some empathy for what Mr. McCain went through.

George Lucas, the director and creator of Star Wars, the wildly successful story of war in space, was forced to make a public apology last night after he went too far in an interview. But our experts have found he is much more quarrelsome than originally thought, as these nine other incidents show this week that were successfully kept from the press by his PR experts...

Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace, widely regarded as one of the most important novels of world literature, has been given a 21st century refashioning to make it less boring for modern readers.

"I hope they aren't expecting milk from these teats." Kent Rugby, Shirtless Dancer