SACRAMENTO, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Forget about the proposed ballot initiative creating four Californias. How about making the Golden State an independent republic? It's just a matter of time before the world's eighth largest economy  will become a country separate from the rest of the United States. Already, there is a growing consensus especially among…

"Well, I'd rather be possessed than obese." Jessie Krufts, Fat Shamer

Is Tory Government Siphoning Off Public Funds in Guise of Spending Cuts to Build Space Station Haven? 'Blue Heaven' Project to Provide Top Tories with Luxury Refuge After Trashing UK.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles® ) -  Overwhelmed by the Pope's presence, and the enlightenment of The Holy Spirit, a tearful and repentant House Speaker John Boehner promised to lead the Republican Party to institute major reforms long resisted by the GOP. Pope Francis addressed a joint session of the U.S. Congress this morning, calling on…

"I would have been happy with a woof rather than a yap." Jessie Krufts, Pancake Flipper

U.S. space agency NASA has discovered evidence of water on Mars, offering the surest sign yet that drinkers who eventually live on the red planet might be able to enjoy life there.

HOLLYWOOD, California (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - Is it film imitating life, or life imitating film? Following Monday's earth-shattering announcement by NASA that scientists have discovered flowing water -- ergo, life -- on Mars, the space agency unveiled its new spaceship  scheduled to head for the red planet in mid- 2016, with human crew members. In addition…

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, the campaign of Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton announced the candidate was under the influence of shrooms when she voiced opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) yesterday. Hillary Clinton confirmed she ingested "a lot" of shrooms just before claiming she opposed TPP, and confessed it would be ridiculous for Americans to believe such a statement in light of her negotiating and promoting of TPP as Secretary of State - and continuing to promote TPP after resigning.

Is Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn High Priest of a Powerful Witches' Coven? Astonishing Claims From Tory Back Bencher Who Alleges that Corbyn Plans to Destroy Britain Through Black Magic.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the White House announced it planned to indiscriminately bomb "way more" civilian targets in the Middle East than it had been prior to the terrorist attacks in Paris last night. President Obama explained air strikes that resulted in significant collateral damage were "the only way" to show the West's enemies that targeting civilians outside of the Middle East was completely unacceptable.

Businessmen – what a bunch of scumbags, eh? Yeah, that's right, I'm dissing businessmen, in fact, I'm being anti-business. Heresy, I know, in today's political climate, but the fact is that businessmen and their businesses are no good...

A man dressed as a man down the pub has won the Eurovision Song Contest for the first time in 60 years, it was revealed last night.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, President Obama spoke about how the Trans-Pacific Partnership - a massive multinational trade deal the president intends to sign - will protect the freedom of all Americans to drink poisonous fracking water. President Obama announced TPP will allow natural gas companies to sue the United States so they can overturn fracking bans and extract natural gas by pumping poisonous water into the ground, resulting in contaminated aquifers and other public water sources.

When a member of Congress is implicated in a sex scandal, he most often resigns. And of those who don't resign, almost all of their careers are irreparably ruined. Almost all of them.

Queens, NY – If anyone were going to turn the reality TV industry on its ear, it would be either Piers Morgan or 50 Cent.  Ironically, it is a partnership between the two megastars that will do just that.

WACO (The Barbed Wire) - Video footage from the parking lot of the Twin Peaks restaurant shows that Pee Wee Herman accidentally started the big biker fight this past weekend. Witnesses from inside the restaurant at the time say that Pee Wee had just regaled the crowd of bikers with a bad-to-the-bone performance of the "Tequila!" when the incident went south…

Boulder, CO – Several studies have been conducted about how much bacteria food will collect when dropped on the ground.  This phenomenon, known as the “5 second rule,” has been a point of contention amongst scientists for years.  Is it ok to eat food that drops on the ground or should it be thrown away immediately?

A terminally ill Star Wars fan who was granted his final wish to view Star Wars: The Force Awakens prior to its December 18th release date says he now wants that two hours of his life back.

On May 22 MSNBC’s Chris Hayes expressed amazement that he has heard no response from the NRA to a smart gun “truce” offered them on May 5 by a New Jersey State senator who is at the forefront of anti-gun activity in her state.

Dan Boyer of Tempe, Arizona took his 40,000th crap this week.