New York, NY – (satireworld.com)

Three famous black leaders, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Maxine Waters, have united together to refer to Christmas as a racist holiday. In a joint statement released in Washington D.C., the three stated that “we call upon all people of color to boycott this white supremacy. Do not go shopping for Christmas presents and avoid this travesty of old Jim Crow segregation.” As the statement contained no alliteration, it is obvious that it was not written by Jackson. As it was grammatically correct, it is also obvious that it wasn’t written by Waters.