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Pfizer, Walmart, Apple Claim Religious Objection to Paying Taxes

Exxon Mobil announced that it had religious objections to cleaning up oil spills. It also announced that, as a person, it would appreciate it if people would be courteous enough to hold the door for it when it was rushing to get on the elevator. It added that it was fairly certain that some people actually punched the 'close doors' button just to prevent it from getting on.

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Real Life Comes to Sudden, Poorly Resolved End

'So Aubrey's walking along one day and, whamo! She just gets flattened by a bus? That's pretty lame,' remarked Burkhart's friend Laura Sanders, 'I mean, what about her rekindled romance with Matt? Or her dream of becoming an interior decorator?'

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Judge Declares Fast-Food Jobs Not Real; Industry Turns Existential

'If there's no job, then there's no meal. And if there's no meal, how could it possibly be a 'happy' one? What is happiness, after all??' he asked.

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Nose Picking In Your Car Now A Class 3 Felony In Five States

Governor Walker admits he knew this would not be one of his most popular pieces of legislation. 'I got together with some other local Governors and we all decided that this needed to happen. I was elected by the people to protect and serve. Not to be popular. This is in the best interest of the health of our people and frankly it will eliminate one of the most disgusting acts I can think of. Nothing will go fully into…

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Ann Coulter, Trying to Top Self, Agrees to Pose for Playboy

Interviewed in her Manhattan apartment Coulter admitted that lately it had become harder and harder to gratuitously shock people. 'The trouble is, the GOP right wing has already occupied the best ridiculous positions, like letting people without health insurance die in the streets, so that by the time I get round to them they’re already old asshat.'

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President of the National Breadstick Association (N.B.A.), Lindsay Bahkedfriesh, has filed an injunction against the company stating that the new breadstick-flavored pet food is a tasteless act against everything that breadsticks stood for.

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"Try it with chocolate pudding next."

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As part of a tour for her new book Hard Choices, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton treated the Internet to a Q&A while visiting some of the biggest companies in Silicon Valley.

One of the most talked-about questions was: “What advice would you give to young women who are considering a career in politics/public service?”


Sinkholes continue to ruin families across the globe.


The job went ahead anyway despite the lack of tragedy and heartbreaking undercurrent of sadness.

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Sometimes, women need to say “enough is enough” and take justice into their own hands.

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