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Real Life Comes to Sudden, Poorly Resolved End

'So Aubrey's walking along one day and, whamo! She just gets flattened by a bus? That's pretty lame,' remarked Burkhart's friend Laura Sanders, 'I mean, what about her rekindled romance with Matt? Or her dream of becoming an interior decorator?'

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Ann Coulter, Trying to Top Self, Agrees to Pose for Playboy

Interviewed in her Manhattan apartment Coulter admitted that lately it had become harder and harder to gratuitously shock people. 'The trouble is, the GOP right wing has already occupied the best ridiculous positions, like letting people without health insurance die in the streets, so that by the time I get round to them they’re already old asshat.'

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Pfizer, Walmart, Apple Claim Religious Objection to Paying Taxes

Exxon Mobil announced that it had religious objections to cleaning up oil spills. It also announced that, as a person, it would appreciate it if people would be courteous enough to hold the door for it when it was rushing to get on the elevator. It added that it was fairly certain that some people actually punched the 'close doors' button just to prevent it from getting on.

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Judge Declares Fast-Food Jobs Not Real; Industry Turns Existential

'If there's no job, then there's no meal. And if there's no meal, how could it possibly be a 'happy' one? What is happiness, after all??' he asked.

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Nose Picking In Your Car Now A Class 3 Felony In Five States

Governor Walker admits he knew this would not be one of his most popular pieces of legislation. 'I got together with some other local Governors and we all decided that this needed to happen. I was elected by the people to protect and serve. Not to be popular. This is in the best interest of the health of our people and frankly it will eliminate one of the most disgusting acts I can think of. Nothing will go fully into…

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Headlines - 09/01/2014

The Red Shtick

Monetizing our desire not to wear the same underpants for a week may be evil, but it’s also highly lucrative for airlines.

Humor Times

An interview with Hillary Clinton, the presumed next Democratic candidate for president, wherein nothing is swept under the rug. By Michael Larson. #hillary #2016 #election

The World's Voice of Reason

Comedy Centrale, the French cable channel, has signed President Obama's tan suit for a new show, it has been revealed.

Random Perspective

The decision on the monkey-selfie has unexpected consequences...

The Adobo Chronicles

It was not because of homophobia as most people would think.

Iron E-News

Around the world in images. #satire #humor

CAP News

Thousands of veterans from all over were invited so the Department of Veterans Affairs could show their appreciation and let them know they weren't forgotten.

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