Cooper Manning passed over again in NFL draft

Despite not playing football after high school, the Manning family has always believed that a team might take a chance on the eldest of Archie’s sons. They gather each year to watch the NFL draft in hopes that Cooper will finally be chosen.

Surveillance Cameras Enter Witness Protection Program

While the cameras and their hard-disk storage units await trail, the program places them in safe locations where they can’t be intimidated or harmed. They are given new names, new jobs, a new chance at a life of safety.

Rekers Says Conversion of Gay Luggage Handler Coming Along Nicely

Rekers says he plans to take Lucien on a 'whirlwind tour of God's beauteous creations' as an inducement for his luggage handler to commit to a wholesome, heterosexual lifestyle. Some of 'God's own ports of call' will include Turks and Caicos, the Florida Keys, Cancun, and 'last but not least, Disney World, where Snow White shines her beacon of heterosexual purity for those cured of man-on-man love.'

Uncensored Bible Theatre Series Attracts Sellout Crowds

A new underwriter, Contemporary Community Fellowship (CCF), has radically enhanced performances. CCF targets young people with a rock and roll themed service, casual dress and culturally current environment. Many of you remember when the new pastor, Dylan Cobain, arrived in town riding a motorcycle, tattooed and pierced; he was arrested four times on suspicion of various unsavory activities, but never charged.

European Union Nukes Debt

The deficits were transported to the island on board extremely expensive yachts, where analysts have noted 'a lot of the missing money is already located,' seized from unnamed government officials throughout the beleaguered mediterranean countries. The yachts arrived on Sunday evening, and within less than an hour, the entire island was vaporized in a thirty megaton explosion.

Local Waffle House Hires Wedding Coordinator

'We've done so many weddings, bridal showers and Bar Mitzvahs in the past few months, we had no choice,' General Manager Tom Guneiro said, 'we're just too busy to run a restaurant and a meeting place both. We had corporate add in another one of those mobile restaurant modules to our left side.'

Cameron Inherits Number 10

Following a tight election campaign Conservative Leader David Cameron has finally inherited 10 Downing Street, after accepting an invitation from the Queen - a distant relative - to lead the country as Prime Minister.

Headlines - 07/29/2010

The Texas Cockroach

Local Teen Believes He Can Hook Up With Lindsay Lohan

The Texas Cockroach is a satirical newspaper from the mythical small town of LaCucaracha, Texas. In LaCucaracha, football is king, and citizens have a choice of 137 churches. The Texas Cockroach parodies the unique culture, lifestyle and politics found nowhere else but Texas. Pour yourself a tall glass of iced tea, sit back, and take a virtual stroll through the streets of LaCucaracha. God Bless Texas.

CAP News

Judge Rules Air Guitar "Not Real Music"

Air guitarists say they plan to appeal the ruling and say they have the support of their colleagues in the desk drummers and dashboard keyboardists associations.

News Mutiny

Gun Safety Tips for Real Americans

For instance - be sure to conceal your gun where your children would never find it - for instance in a shoe box on the top shelf of your closet with your porn.

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Best Story of the Year

In a sign of the times, the winning story of the fifth annual HumorFeed Satire News Awards focused on excessive corporate bonuses and an institution that is 'too big to fail' - in this case, Christmas.

Go to the story!

humortube

Mouth-Guard and Sauce: Commercial Guys' Christmas

This video courtesy of
Studio 8

A Great American Hero

Award-winning humor writer Greg Robillard has hit the bookshelves with his first full-length novel, and takes no prisoners in a story that is part political satire, part comic-book parody, and part celebrity tell-all.

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Misheard Lyrics

Personally, I never understood lyrics properly when I was actually young, never mind now. Apparently, I wasn't alone. Misheard Lyrics offers a delightful array of user-submitted videos illustrating just what people REALLY hear when they listen to popular songs.

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