Fears were growing last night that pandas, some as old as 5, were pooping too much from all the bamboo they eat, according to scientists.

Knick and James talk movies, TV, and killing yourself.

The American people have overwhelmingly given their support to Donald Trump's border wall but have said it's best if Donald Trump was contained instead.

Canapes, some including shrimp and rolled up salmon, could be the long looked for link to finding the end of cancer, researchers at a party told our reporter last night.

No longer able to collect bulk telephone metadata, the NSA said it will revert to the old method of domestic spying by placing agents in the homes of the some 123 million households in the U.S.

Fifty percent of young American women -- and now men -- admit to shaving their pubic hair...we humans always go too far.

PAGO PAGO, American Samoa (The Adobo Chronicles) -  The United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia has just ruled that the Fourteenth Amendment's guarantee of birthright citizenship does not apply to island territories including American Samoa. Agreeing with the Obama administration's lawyers, the DC Circuit relied on and even expanded the scope of…

It's possible that smoking pot was the true Original Sin,' says Sen. Rick Sanitarium, after learning weed makes you horny. By Michael Egan, Humor Times.

WASHINGTON D.C. (The Barbed Wire) - Trying to put American's fears to rest about the possibility of bringing tens of thousands of Muslim refugees into the country from Syria, President Obama reassured the nation today that there wouldn't be any problems with his plan because Muslims "just don't radicalize once they get here."

It’s a fee that students never pay to get a credit they never see, just so a governor no one likes can keep a promise to a guy no one elected.

Take part in our brilliant Donald Trump sweepstakes as we guess what the probable Republican candidate for president will say next... Just print out and cut out each line and have fun

"All UFO abductions must be investigated"

"I will make Arnold Schwartzenegger illegal"

"Brillo Pads will be renamed Trump Pads in honor of my brilliant hairdo"

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): Yesterday, the White House confirmed reports that President Obama has been steadily increasing his daily consumption of alcohol since moving into the presidential residence in January 2009. Obama stated his alcohol intake has grown every day "just to deal with Republicans and their bullshit."

The Twittersphere blew up while fans watched Kaitlyn Bristowe, this season's Bachelorette, take hopeful future husband Nick Viall to her room for the night. But Viall, who was a disliked contestant on Season 10 of the show, seems to already have his eyes on another prize.

Jeremy White, Sunny Weathers, and Knick Moore chime in on the Confederate flag debate before discussing what happens to all penises of men who convert to Judaism.

PORTLAND, OR — The rules are simple. You pack up a bowl. You watch Citizen Kane. And every time someone says “rosebud,” you take a hit.

Every year, ESPN The Magazine pays tribute to the sculpted bodies of the athletic world in their "The Body Issue." And this year, they're adding one more special edition issue to the mix with their "Offensive Linemen Edition," due out in September.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): Supreme Court Justices Anthony M. Kennedy and Antonin Scalia threw punches at each other earlier today. The brief fistfight between the two erupted in the Court Chamber and involved the Court's 5-4 decision on Obergefell v. Hodges, which effective legalized gay marriage across the country.

A formerly beloved celebrity activist and one of social media’s most popular figures, George Takei, has turned to the dark side, it has been declared.

Lowell, MA – Becky and Mark Dodd got married last December.  As they wait for their one year anniversary, they find themselves in marriage counseling.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): The Pentagon announced today a new Lockheed Martin F-35 Joint Strike Fighter had lost over a dozen dogfights to a 1917 Sopwith Camel biplane. The June 18th engagements showed the World War I-era Sopwith Camel exhibited "superior maneuverability and fighting aptitude" compared to its F-35 opponent.