"Republicans need to stop being the same suckers I convinced to support me in 2012," said a fully aflame Romney.

Sierra Nevada Mountain - (satireworld.com)
An archaeological study of the remains of the Donner Party shows that the survivors who had to turn to cannibalism preferred white meat to dark meat. The group, who was stranded in the Sierra Nevada mountains of California in the winter of 1846-47 appear to have eaten about 20% more breast meat than thigh or leg meat from those who died.

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - In yet another report that seeks to put President Rodigo Duterte and the Philippines in a bad light, The New York Times posted a documentary to show the world that Filipinos are living in fear and grief as a result of alleged extra-judicial killings due to the government's campaign…

Human rights groups are speaking out against the latest form of punishment carried out by the terror organization known as ISIS: forcing prisoners to watch the 2016 movie “Suicide Squad” -- to death.

DETROIT, Michigan (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) - You saw it all at last night's Republican presidential debate. Donald Trump held up his two hands and asked the audience if they looked like small hands to them.  Then, referring to Marco Rubio's previous comments that something else in Trump was mostly likely small as well,…

In a bid to secure thousands of low-paying jobs that no American wants, a caravan of workers from Central America stormed the US border with a goal of replacing roofs, harvesting farm produce, cleaning up hotel rooms, and generally taking care of the US population against their will.

Former ambassador Susan Rice has been outed as the villain who “unmasked” President Trump and his aides last year after spying on them. Now, she's been unmasked.

A local man would have had a chance to have sex with a woman way out of his league had he just cleaned his bathroom....

"So Americans need to just forget the idea of higher education funded by the government and a tax on Wall Street speculation. We can't afford to do it, because my foreign policy is going to be pretty expensive in blood and treasure," explained Clinton.

Does A Bear Poop In The Woods?

The United States National Park Service officially clarified what was mostly snide jokes and hearsay remarks concerning the bathroom habits of North American bears. Today, Ranger Bud Ricks held a press conference at the Wilds Federal Reserve addressing the pressing issue of where a wild bear actually does his ‘scat’.

Hyannis Port, MA – (satireworld.com)
“Dem Bones, Dem Bones, them Bones keep Moving around!” were the comments from Kennedy watchers following the latest shocking news on the continuing saga of Robert Kennedy who won’t rest until he moves his former wife’s remains far from the Kennedy compound in Hyannis Port.

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Feinstein, and Maxine Waters claim that they were insulted at a local Washington D.C. restaurant went they went out to lunch on Wednesday (October 31st). Said Pelosi, “we were on a break from out duties in the House and Senate and went together to get a bite to eat. Che Francois had the audacity to tell us that we our costumes were okay, but that we needed to remove our Halloween fright masks before being allowed to enter their restaurant. None of us were wearing masks! I have never been so insulted!”

SAN FRANCISCO, California (The Adobo Chronicles, San Francisco Bureau) - Videos of that United Airlines flight in which an elderly man was dragged out of his seat to make room for flight crew have gone viral on the Internet.  Many of the clips show the man bleeding after he allegedly hit his mouth against the head…

All of the Dukes have a magnificent evil laugh. It’s Villainy 101 – no
self-respecting Lord of Darkness can achieve greatness without perfecting an evil laugh.

Please forward this today to everyone on your e-mail list in remembrance of all who have ever worn the uniform…and gave their yesterdays that we could have our tomorrows. This is the 100th anniversary of the Armistice that ended World War 1. Remember that “all gave some, but some gave all.”

Police Accused of Overreacting After Massive Evil-Smelling Fart Sparks London Terror Alert. Flatulence Subsequently Deemed 'Spontaneous' Rather than Being Deliberate Chemical Attack.

... PlatinumSachs CEO Maximilian "Moneybags" Goldsucker, whom Clinton claimed she wrestled to the ground only seconds after the American economic crisis in 2008, does not exist.

Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!

Jeremy, Sunny, and Mike Honore discuss the state fire marshal's engagement to a married woman, proper steroid use, and the benefits of steroid-shrunken testicles.

Following the success of Secret Cinema, Extreme Cinema plans to take movie experience authenticity to the next level.