WASHINGTON (TheSkunk.org) — Sen. Rand Paul’s apology for using plagiarized passages in his speeches appears to have been extracted from a speech given by former congressman Anthony Weiner.

Researchers at the University of Southern Ohio have completed a survey of the world’s kinkiest professions. Many of the sciences ranked highly, but none quite as high as mechanical engineering

"They need a tie-in brand of hotdog's to go with this series."

"The cat seems to be meowing in English. Hilarious. I bet they can't understand a word it's saying."

"I prefer him playing a slacker with no goals and ambitions. Who is this LaBeouf?"

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles) - The United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) of the Department of Homeland Security has just released the revised test questionnaire for immigrants applying for U.S. citizenship. It  is a far cry from the 100 potential questions that an immigration officer might ask a citizenship applicant.  There would only…

PARIS (The Barbed Wire) - President Obama has concluded two days of making a fool of himself at the climate summit here. Warning the world of the dangers of magic warming gas in our atmosphere, the president painted an apocalyptic vision of the future if the world doesn't start believing his climate hysteria. Immediately.

It’s taken me three years now to accumulate this knowledge, but if you think you or someone you love may be a TV binger, the following is a list that may help you cope.

The woman who's toplessness rocked a mountain range in Malaysia is being approached by The Sun to get them out again on page three, only months after page three was set to be axed and only days after she caused an earthquake in Malaysia.

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) - Donald Trump today officially declared that he is running for president of the United States, vowing to "make this country great again." What a great campaign motto. But there is one problem.  Trump is now being accused by former Philippines First Lady Imelda Romualdez Marcos of plagiarizing her late husband,…

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Adobo Chronicles®) - As Barack Obama was speaking at a White House event honoring LGBT Pride Month on Wednesday, a heckler started yelling at the President. The heckler was later identified as Jennicet Gutiérrez, an undocumented transgender immigrant who was protesting deportations under the Obama administration. An immigration group claimed Gutiérrez was a founding member of Familia TQLM…

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA (The Nil Admirari): The National Rifle Association (NRA) announced today it had a press release ready and waiting for the next mass shooting in the United States. NRA Executive Vice President and CEO Wayne LaPierre stated such preparedness was essential to highlight why victims of gun violence were negligent for not arming themselves.

Washington – Talks in Washington are hot and heavy about getting rid of the penny as part of the US currency.  

In an effort to avoid a complete financial meltdown, Greece announced today that it is leaving the Euro and converting to the Gyro. With an economy that's just a tad bit larger than that of Oregon's, the Greek government decided that it's just too small to handle the Euro

"Yes, he's got the bear 'boingy' movement down pat. Kudos." Jessie Krufts, PE Teacher

Black people have agreed to expel Don Lemon from the black race due to his stupidity and his habit of driving people mad with his opinions.

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - The Nil Admirari finished negotiations with the Republican National Committee (RNC) today and will host a Republican presidential debate on September 28th, 2015 at the Providence Performing Arts Center (PPAC) in Providence, Rhode Island. Unlike the Republican debates sponsored by the Mickey Mouse news outlets, the Nil Admirari debate will include every person who has registered to run for president as a Republican.

Dallas, TX – (satireworld.com)
The State Department has taken a request under consideration from the national headquarters of Planned Parenthood in which the controversial abortion organization has asked for more liberal access to the migrant guest worker visa program in order to help out with the upcoming PP annual harvesting of baby parts set to begin in peak season which is mid to late February.

Revealed at Comic Con in San Diego.

SAN ANTONIO, Texas (The Adobo Chronicles® ) - If you've ever been stopped at a sobriety checkpoint, you know what the police officer will have you do to test if you've been driving under the influence. Step out of your car, point to your nose, walk a straight line, recite the alphabet backwards and so on.…