LACONIA, NEW HAMPSHIRE (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, Republican presidential candidate and Governor of New Jersey Chris Christie announced he wanted to fit a permanent shock collar equipped with a Global Positioning System (GPS) on all illegal immigrants that entered the United States. Christie explained every illegal immigrant would be fitted with a collar and dropped off in Mexico approximately two miles away from the US-Mexico border where the collar would be activated and programmed to shock an illegal immigrant if he or she came within one mile of the United States.